Have you ever struggled with leaning into what may have seemed like a roadblock, a challenge, or even a punishment?
I think we ALL can relate to that feeling in our own unique experiences. That's exactly how my June Mom Crush Monday (MCM) guest, Bella Giardina, felt initially when faced with infertility struggles. However, through this experience, her faith deepened and she surrendered to what God had planned for her at this time in her life and her purpose became clear.
Bella's story is one of faith, surrender, community and love. Bella is a wife, foster mom, infertility awareness advocate, and marketing entrepreneur. You can watch the full episode here and continue reading to get a preview of our discussion along with a BONUS list of 6 ways you can support foster families in your local community.
How did I meet Bella?
This is always one of my favorite questions to answer about my guests. I love sharing how I create community and my guests are a part of that! I actually met Bella at my, new-to-me CrossFit gym, Physwell in Jacksonville, FL. She had just finished her class and was getting ready to leave with whom I assumed was her son.
It wasn't until a few weeks later when we happened to by chance (more likely divine-intervention), be seated across from one other at our same, Crossfit-community organized book club (thank you, Chandler!). It was the end of the evening and her and I were the only two women left at the table. In between throwing away any used disposable utensils left on the table cloth and folding up the remaining folding chairs, we started talking about our life beyond the gym and book club.
I can't recall if I shared first or she did, but I had assumed up until this moment that the boy she so lovingly spoke to and tenderly ran her fingers through his hair after her class, was unmistakably her own flesh and blood. And that is when she began to tell me her story...
Bella's Story: Faith, Surrender and Community
Bella's journey into foster care began three years ago, As she describes during our discussion, it was not the timeline she had hoped for or expected. In her timeline, she and her husband would have a few children of their own and then welcome in more through fostering and / or adoption. However, God had other plans for Bella and her husband, Sal.
While navigating the struggles of infertility. Bella felt a calling to explore foster care sooner than anticipated. A foster care interest night at her church sparked her curiosity, leading Bella and Sal to attend the meeting and, eventually, to embark on the long yet rewarding process of becoming licensed foster parents.
In the episode, Bella describes the journey of receiving her first foster placement, and the pain of eventually saying goodbye to that boy whom I thought many months ago was her biological son. She describes the bittersweet emotions of that moment.
When asked about the importance of community, Bella emphasized particularly the role her church and local community of family and friends play in their life. Bella also described how she and Sal created a community within their church based on the desire for mutual support and camaraderie. Bella's village is a huge source of strength that enables her to continue her foster care mission and you can hear exactly how how her community supports her by listening or watching the episode here.
The Challenges and Triumphs of Foster Parenting
When asked about the challenges of foster parenting during our episode,, Bella explained, managing the behind-the-scenes coordination as one of the biggest challenges. Prior to meeting Bella, I had only known one other foster parent and it was only indirectly, through a work relationship. Foster care wasn't something I knew anything about, it was a term I was familiar with but felt so far removed and, relatively until now, knew nothing about,
I had no idea of the amount of meetings that were required to keep all those involved in the child's life connected and how the foster parents juggle the schedule until Bella shared this with me one afternoon after we exchanged numbers that night of the book club. Attempting to connect our boys for an afternoon of fishing at our local dock proved to be way harder than expected and in that moment, I began to understand how selfless the roll of a foster parent is. How despite the sometimes overwhelming administrative and legal responsibilities, the desire to make a huge impact in a child's life is paramount,
"The ultimate goal of foster care is to reunite the child with their biological family," Bella noted. This often involves maintaining relationships with the child's parents, grandparents and siblings, making the process complex time-wise but ultimately focused on family reunification.
Bella also shared, that for her, the emotional toll of attachment and eventual separation was challenging. For Bella, the nurturing and caring for her foster son was the intuitive and easy part. The hard part was having to let him go when it was time.
Bella shared a touching story about her first placement deciding to get baptized before leaving their home, a moment that left a significant impact on her overall experience.
During our conversation, Bella spoke passionately about raising awareness for foster care and stressing that anyone can be involved in some capacity, not just as full-time foster parents. After the episode, I realized I had not asked Bella to elaborate on this and, because I knew how important this would be to others wanting to help, I reached out and asked her about it. The below was compiled from our subsequent conversation.
6 Ways You Can Support Foster Families
Below are 6 ways you can support foster care families, listed in order of larger commitments to simpler small acts.
Guardian Ad Litem
Volunteering as a guardian ad litem is a significant way to help. This unpaid position involves representing the child's best interests without being associated with the case worker, judge, or parent. Guardians ad litem visit the children at least once every thirty days, attending school meetings, doctor appointments, and more. Bella knows several guardians ad litem who balance this role with their regular jobs and find a great sense of purpose in being a advocate for this child at such a crucial time of their life.
Respite Care
This option requires a foster care license but offers a flexible way to help. Respite caregivers temporarily look after foster children when their full-time foster families need a short break, such as during vacations or special events.
Wrap-Around Care
Many local churches offer wrap-around care programs that support foster families. This community-based care involves providing prayer requests, babysitting, meal help, and more. You can find more information on this through your individual place of worship or simply by Googling "wrap around foster care near me". When I did this, many organizations came up local to me and the fourth site listed was Bella's church group page for wrap around care.
Facebook Groups and Local Opportunities
Search for foster care support groups on Facebook or other community sites. These groups can connect you with local opportunities, such as buying Christmas gifts for foster children or other donation drives. This past December, my local neighborhood community participated in a Christmas drive for the National Youth Advocate Program. Our host connected with the organization and their local coordinator provided guests with a list of ideas that the children would really like.
As a guest, it was so convenient to be able to order items from a suggested list and it was also incredibly eye-opening to see requested items that you and I take for granted and would probably never consider as a gift including toothbrushes, deodorant and writing utensils. Participating in this way made me feel like I could make an impact in the life of a foster child and I am so grateful to our host, Elizabeth, who came up with this wonderful idea.
Meal Trains
For those looking to support foster parents directly, setting up a meal train can be one of the most helpful and appreciated ways to lend a hand. This ensures foster families have one less thing to worry about as they care for their children. One of the biggest takeaways from Bella's story was learning of the challenging time commitments of being a foster parent. Providing a meal for these parents who give so much of their time and love, would be such a gift to them and free up time for them.
Foster Closet
One more impactful way of supporting the foster care system without being a full-time parent is by donating to organizations like Foster Closet. Foster Closet is a non-profit organization that provides free resources, including clothing, shoes, and toys to foster children and families in need.
You can find a list of their urgent summer needs here.
If you live outside of North Florida, you can easily look up the name of your local foster donation system. And if you don't have one in your area, YOU could even be part of a project to start one! How wonderful would that be?!
More about Bella:
Bella and her husband Sal started an adoption fund account, AGAPE CLTR, which helps make their dream of adoption possible by using 100% of the profits from secondhand goodies, raffles, and merchandise sales to cover adoption expenses. Follow their account @agapecltr to support their mission and be part of their beautiful journey towards building a family.
In addition to finding purpose through fostering, Bella believes one of her missions is to support women going through infertility struggles to help normalize their feelings, give them a voice, allow them to feel less alone and to help them find their way back to their faith knowing everything is as God's plan,
Foster care has taught Bella invaluable lessons about herself and her faith. Her perspective has shifted, and she now embraces the uncertainty of what her family might look like in the future. Bella's story is a testament to the power of vulnerability and the ripple effect it can have on others. By sharing her journey, she hopes to inspire others to find purpose and meaning in their own lives.
Bella also runs Current Creative Co., a business that offers marketing and design services to small businesses. Bella is selective about her clients to ensure she can manage her foster care responsibilities and we talk all about work / life boundaries near the end of our episode. If you struggle when setting and holding boundaries, you don't want to miss the last 15 minutes of this episode.
Bella's journey is an incredible reminder of the power of faith, surrender and community. Her story is also a testament to fact that our lives can have profound impacts on others. Bella's faith, dedication to helping others, and entrepreneurial spirit are truly inspiring.
Thank you, Bella, for sharing your journey with us.
If you enjoyed this episode and / or the blog, it would mean the world to me if you could share it. One of my personal missions, through Cecilia Rivera Coaching, is to share other mother's stories, to inspire, to lead and fuel the hopes, dreams and passions of all mothers.
For more updates and stories, follow Bella @_bellagiardina_ and check out her business @current.creative.co .
To be the first to hear of new episodes, workshops and more with Cecilia Rivera, follow @ceciliariveracoaching and you can sign-up for the newsletter here.
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